Saturday, November 28, 2009


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Found on far-off pathways:
Sprigs of roses. With stems in hand,
Unsure of how to hold them,
I want to meet you.

As with pale orphaned
children I look for you,--
And to my poor roses
You would be a mother.

[Rainer Maria Rilke]

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Grief surges over me. His face not two feet from mine, my son Theophile sits patiently waiting—and I, his father, have lost the simple right to ruffle his bristly hair, clasp his downy neck, hug his small, lithe, warm body tight against me. There are no words to describe it. My condition is monstrous, iniquitous, revolting, horrible. Suddenly I can take no more. Tears well and my throat emits a hoarse rattle that startles Theophile. Don’t be scared, little man. I love you.

[Jean-Dominique Bauby]

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

ive been in college
for a month
it seems pretty cool
i like my floor
ive made some friends
classes are alright
food is ok


Sunday, August 30, 2009

haiku: stalk me and i will give you hugs

i want you to know
that i have five pairs of blue
polka dot boxers

Monday, August 10, 2009


my poem 'you smell nice' was published in the first issue of Offshoot Magazine.

editor forgot me in the table of contents though. :/ i'm on page 32.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

a poem

throw a deus ex machina into my life.
or be my deus ex machina.
i would too fucking happy and grateful.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

toronto jam

some vid i'm in.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I already know that this will be one of my favorite movies ever.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

this is not my future, it is his

i want to take a 'lethal dose' of 'polonium 210'
and be immune to it.
i would have dodged a 'slow and inevitable death'.
that would be 'pretty cool'.
scientists would want to do tests of me.
but i would not give in.
the scientists would say 'if you let us do tests on you,
you would help advance society and everyone
would be immune to poisonous things. plus,
we will give you lots of money.'
i would say 'no, i dont want your money.
the only way i would let you do tests on me
is if you figure out a way to make my nails stop growing
because i don't like cutting them. it is such a hassle.
i also dont like it when people cut my nails for me
because i have the fear that they will mess up
and cut too deep and cause me great pain.'

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


anyways, we got Runes, my school's lit mag printed. it has 50 pages.

if you want to buy one, paypal me $6 or more. i will mail it asap.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

you smell nice.

i am behind you.

just pretend im your shadow.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

dim my vision

i should try out some sunglasses soon.
i dont want want to wonder
for the rest of my life
if sunglasses look good on me.

Saturday, May 30, 2009


editing my high school's literary magazine was hard. i sweated. i think i left many mistakes. but it's partially not my fault because there are six other editers. three of them didnt really help though.
copies should be available next week for $6 each. if you go to my school, they will be $4. i will probably have a very limited amount. i will make a pdf of it soon to give for free. the pdf wont have any of the pictures though, because i dont want to take the time to insert them.

anyways, if you want to buy a paper copy of the magazine, leave a comment here so ill know about how many to reserve.

Friday, May 22, 2009


one day i am going to make a decision
that i will regret.
i will want to 'end my life'
but i will be scared to do it.
i will eat a lot of fucking fish
and i will not get mercury poisoning.
i will be healther than usual.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

chess hurts

i was telling this girl
that i won the tornament
in chess club at school
i felt proud.
she gave me a
playful punch
and it hurt.
i took it like a man
i felt inferior.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

pew pew pew

pew pew pew. i have an imaginary ray gun.

Monday, April 13, 2009


a short video i made in the kitche

Saturday, April 4, 2009

the paranoid male public bathroom experience

i stood up and walked to the bathroom
and used the toilet paper as tissue
i felt a little nervous and confused
but the two ply felt comfy on my nose
unlike the ones in school
where you have to keep pulling and pulling
until you have enough toilet paper in your hand
to wipe your ass or your nose
and then wash your hands
and because the electric hand dryer is broken
you go and get more one ply toilet paper
to dry your hands
and then even more
so you can open the door
without touching the doorknob
because many people dont wash their hands
and you dont want to touch the germs
that are on their genitals
but if you are in a restroom
standing there with wet hands
panicking because there is
nothing to dry your hands
wipe them on your jeans
where your ankles are
because no one really looks there
unless their head is fixed
at a downward angle
and when you need to open the door
you can wait awkwardly
until someone opens it for you
or you can attempt to open it
with your feet
but you look around you
before you do things like that
but once you get the door open
you feel proud of yourself
and wonder how many people
open doors with their feet
to avoid touching doorknobs
and this poem applies
to public restrooms and doors in general

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


This is the stuff I've been listening to a lot recently:

Lost in the Trees - strings. guitar. beautiful.

Bon Iver - emotional. folk. voice.

Ingrid Michaelson - infectious. melodious. singing.

Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton - sexy. voice. piano.

Ólafur Arnalds - piano. strings. emotional.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

i need to talk.
this distance
i'm quiet.
i'm really bad at these kinds of things.
more like inexperienced.
f a d e
f    a     d      e
i'm gone. nothing. lonely.
why do i do this?
i need to tell her.
i try to talk.
but no.
too many butterflies
smothering me from the inside out.
all i can do now is listen to bon iver.
bon iver
i need to see him and steal his voice
his songs. his feelings.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

i want to write something beautiful.

but i can't.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


so it's the last day of a week long break from school. what did I do?
I watched 13 movies. so here they are in the order of which I watched them:

Stalag 17 - i came into the movie thinking I would be bored out of my mind. but surprisingly it was effing hilarious. there's a reason why it's on the IMDb top 250.
Ping Pong - this was hilarious, love the super awesome ping pong scenes.
Breakfast at Tiffany's - I have to thank my dear friend Karimi for lending me this. this was exceptionally good and Audrey Hepburn is so frickn' beautiful. I wish I knew someone like Holly.
The Fall - Really really pretty movie, all the scenes looked amazing. The little girl that played Alexandria is so cute. Story could have been better though.
Boondock Saints - HOLY FUCK THIS WAS AWESOME. Love the shooting scenes and Willem Dafoe is just crazy in it. ugh.
Charlie Bartlett - hm, this was pretty good, Robert Downey Jr is just awesome. Loved Kat Dennings' rendition of the great Cat Steven's song "If you want to sing out, sing out".
4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days - whoa, this really opened my eyes about abortions. this was filmed so realistically that it was disturbing. the whole dinner scene kept me thinking 'AHHH QUICKLY GO TO THE HOTEL'. really good movie
Wristcutters: A Love Story - this was alright. quite funny at times but not memorable.
The Air I Breathe - Ok movie, didn't wow me. Good stuff from a first time director though.
Boy A - Slow as hell, didnt really like this. the idea behind the movie was good but not executed too well for me. the only thing that was good was the cinematography.
The Science of Sleep - this was pretty good, it was hilarious and sweet. loved all the dream scenes.
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters - I don't really watch documentaries but I just had to watch this one. this was really really good. I learned many things about arcade gaming.
The Sea Inside - this was really great. this really gets you to think about the value of life. watching Javier Bardem in a completely different role from his most famous role as Anton Chigurh in No Country For Old Men seemed kinda awkward at first, but then he quickly grew into the role. this was the only movie on this list that made me cry. WATCH THIS.

hmm, I watched only one Asian film. burr. should have watched more.
oh. just realized I'm not watching the Academys. I'm recording it, might watch it later along with the Film Independent Spirits Awards which was yesterday. Or I might never watch them... the only Academy nominated films I saw are The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire, and Wall E. All amazing movies. But why was not Let the Right One In nominated for a best foreign film?! IT WAS AMAZING!!! grrrr

so yeah. that's it. i'm typing this with sticky fingers that smell of oranges and all-purpose soap; listening to the Harold and Maude (watch this too) soundtrack which I've been listening to a lot this week. Cat Stevens is awesome. and I still have homework.... gah I thought I escaped the wrath of the Vocabulary Workshop books in high school, but it has come to plague me in senior year. argh.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

there are puddles everywhere outside. everything's wet and muddy. the snow is melting. yay/ew.

anyways, i got my first acceptance letter from a college on friday. it was from Rutgers. I didn't get that OMG I WAS ACCEPTED YAYYYYYYYY feeling. dunno why.
so I have 3 more colleges left to hear from. I dunno which one I will choose. they all have their pros.
Rutgers - many of my friends already attend there
SUNY Purchase - geared towards the arts and closest to the city
TCNJ - #6 on the Princeton Review's '10 Colleges with the Happiest Students' :D
SUNY Binghamton - probably the hardest school to get into for me
all are state universities, so yeah.

anyways, i'm writing this in the library, where I'm working. libraries are awesome. people should go there more often. the only people i see that come here are mothers and old white people. burr.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I recall certain moments, let us call them icebergs in paradise, when after having had my fill of her –after fabulous, insane exertions that left me limp and azure-barred–I would gather her in my arms with, at last, a mute moan of human tenderness (her skin glistening in the neon light coming from the paved court through the slits in the blind, her soot-black lashes matted, her grave gray eyes more vacant than ever–for all the world a little patient still in the confusion of a drug after a major operation)–and the tenderness would deepen to shame and despair, and I would lull and rock my lone light Lolita in my marble arms, and moan in her warm hair, and caress her at random and mutely ask her blessing, and at the peak of this human agonized selfless tenderness (with my soul actually hanging around her naked body and ready to repent), all at once, ironically, horribly, lust would swell again–and 'oh, no,' Lolita would say with a sigh to heaven, and the next moment the tenderness and the azure–all would be shattered.

- Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita.

I finished reading Lolita two weeks ago and this passage is still in my head.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009


french is way too fucking hard.
so many tenses to memorize. so many endings. presentpassecomposeimparfaitconditionelfuturplusqueparfaitfuturanterierconditi

and why do words have to have a sex?
car is feminine, bed is masculine, music is feminine, kitten is masculine.

quoi. je m'en fous.

i hate irregular verbs.

je t'aime is an awesome phrase though.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Just chillin in some bubble tea shop.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

star wars.

I had a weird dream last night. I was being tortured by people because I haven't watched the old Star Wars movies yet. Chewbacca was there. I'm guessing it's a sign that I should watch them soon. But I want to watch them all on the same day in a row, which might be a problem.

And it snowed again. Dunno if I should be glad.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

triple haiku: moosik

he stared at the crowd.
nervous, the first chord was struck.
and so it began.

everyone was wrapped
in the blanket of music
enjoying the life.

the last chord echoed.
shouts of encore had faded
and so it ended.

haiku: the man.

echoing click clacks.
the dress shoes resonate as
he strolls through my brain.

haiku: piano.

the fragile fingers
delicately dancing on
the black and white field.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


record a song.
be more talkative in real life.
read at least 6 of the books on my to-read list.
post at least one piano video on youtube.
watch at least 65% of the films on the IMDb top 250 list.
film and edit a card video.
write many more poems.
watch more movies than him.
talk to her more.
ask her out.
create an internet meme.
develop a better sense of dress.
go to an Okkervil River show.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

new years

as i walked around outside
the streets deserted. covered with snow.
i heard a YAY at exactly twelve.
then popping. everywhere.
i'm happy that i wore a comfy coat.