pew pew pew

pew pew pew. i have an imaginary ray gun.

kitchen

a short video i made in the kitchen

the paranoid male public bathroom experience

i stood up and walked to the bathroom
and used the toilet paper as tissue
i felt a little nervous and confused
but the two ply felt comfy on my nose
unlike the ones in school
where you have to keep pulling and pulling
until you have enough toilet paper in your hand
to wipe your ass or your nose
and then wash your hands
and because the electric hand dryer is broken
you go and get more one ply toilet paper
to dry your hands
and then even more
so you can open the door
without touching the doorknob
because many people dont wash their hands
and you dont want to touch the germs
that are on their genitals
but if you are in a restroom
standing there with wet hands
panicking because there is
nothing to dry your hands
wipe them on your jeans
where your ankles are
because no one really looks there
unless their head is fixed
at a downward angle
and when you need to open the door
you can wait awkwardly
until someone opens it for you
or you can attempt to open it
with your feet
but you look around you
before you do things like that
but once you get the door open
you feel proud of yourself
and wonder how many people
open doors with their feet
to avoid touching doorknobs
and this poem applies
to public restrooms and doors in general

music

This is the stuff I've been listening to a lot recently:

Lost in the Trees - strings. guitar. beautiful.

Bon Iver - emotional. folk. voice.

Ingrid Michaelson - infectious. melodious. singing.

Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton - sexy. voice. piano.

Ólafur Arnalds - piano. strings. emotional.